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To Touch Or Not To Touch: Exploring the Myth of Prohibition On Touch In Psychotherapy And Counseling, by Ofer Zur, PhD., offered by Zur Institute for

To Touch Or Not To Touch: Exploring the Myth of Prohibition On Touch In Psychotherapy And Counseling, by Ofer Zur, PhD., offered by Zur Institute for Psychologists, MFTs, SWs and Counselors

He chose rhesus macaque monkeys as subjects for his analysis, as they share ninety-four percent of their genetic heritage with humans. The monkeys were offered access to two surrogate mothers: a "soft" terrycloth mother that was warmed by a light bulb that provided a positive tactile experience, and a wire mother with a bottle attached to it for feeding. The infants spent only the amount of time necessary for feeding with the wire mother and when left alone with her would cower in a corner. When given the choice of both mothers, they would cling to the "soft" mother for up to twenty-two hours a day and, in contrast, when left alone with her, would give her a few hugs and then felt secure enough to explore a strange object on their own. "These data make it obvious that contact comfort is a variable of overwhelming importance in the development of affectional response, whereas lactation is a variable of negligible importance" (Harlow, 1958, p.6). His observations of infant monkeys separated from their mothers at birth fundamentally changed our views. He discovered two very important things about development. Firstly, "comfort contact proved to be a more significant parenting quality than feeding... and... touch, not food, binds infant to caregiver" (Heller, 1997, p.55). The second finding was that even those monkeys that were reared on the soft mother, as adults, were neurotic, asocial, autistically self stimulating, self mutilating, and sexually inept. Subsequent studies involved providing the infants with a rocking surrogate. The infants in this study showed fewer abnormal developmental indicators. Normal functioning occurred, however, only in infants who were given contact with another live monkey for just one half hour a day. They needed interactive touch to support normal development.

Developmental psychologist, Sharon Heller, writes that what distinguishes a securely attached baby from an insecurely attached baby is "the degree to which each could feel ownership of their mothers' bodies and therefore assurance of protection" (Heller, 1997 p.58). That feeling of ownership requires touch by sensitive, attuned parents. Through sensitive parental responding, infants receive accurate feedback about the effects of their behavior and they learn that, when they signal a need, they can expect a prompt, predictable, and soothing response. This makes it unnecessary to develop dysfunctional emotional defense systems. Infants who signal a need and are responded to by a sensitive, attuned parent feel a sense of control over their lives. The importance of this cannot be overemphasized. Feeling in control, one feels greater assurance of psychological survival. Feeling less need to control, one can more easily form closer relationships and benefit from the emotional satisfaction of bonding needs. One who feels in control is less likely to commit acts of violence, will have fewer physical problems, and live longer (Heller, 1997). The converse is true as well, just as sensitive, attuned touch gets etched in our developing neural pathways enabling us to reach out and touch in that same way throughout our lifetime, touch that is absent when necessary, inappropriately sexualized, cold or abusive, gets recorded in ways that cause us to draw inward or to strike out. Most abused children do not grow up to abuse their own children but those who do abuse their own children have almost always been abused in their own childhood: Violence begets violence. James Prescott (1975), a neuroscientist formerly with the U.S. Department of Health, Education, and welfare, reviewed forty-nine societies and concluded that a lack of bodily pleasure derived from touching and stroking during the formative periods of life was the primary cause of violent behavior in adults.

Unfortunately, 93 percent of American parents use physical punishments therefore there is a higher incidence of child beatings and murders by parents in the U.S. than anywhere else in the world, and a classic study of American childrearing practices shows harsh and punitive touch to outweigh warm and affectionate touch (Wolfgang, 1969).

Americans are considered by many other cultures to be independent to a fault, to be self centered, materialistic, lacking in reasonable social boundaries and somewhat abrasive. Why? Perhaps because we are a culture with a high population of insecurely attached persons. Object relations theory tells us that insecurely attached children often have a cool demeanor and focused involvement in activities that make them appear independent, although their independence may later become self-importance (Heller, 1997). John Bowlby (1969) sees this as pseudo-maturity and calls it compulsive self-reliance.

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